what a cup and barn dance

Well punters, what a day across the tracks — wallets fatter, livers flatter, and egos inflated like we trained the bloody things ourselves.

At Randwick, poor Natoya went down by a bee’s appendage — that’s right, not even a whisker, just a microscopic sting away from glory. Then Carbonados said “hold my beer” and stormed home like a thief in the night — cha-ching! 💸 Ticklebelly ran his guts out, tried his absolute ass off, but just couldn’t quite get there — still, the place money kept the top-up rolling in. And how about Osipenko? Finally finds a win, dropped in grade so far even my retired greyhound could’ve run past that lot. Honestly, even old Fat Jockey could’ve steered him home!

But the real sugar hit — Sunrise taking the last at Randwick and filling the bank like it owed us rent. ☀️💵

Down south at Kembla, Luma Light lit up the tote board with a tasty win — bank rising higher than interest rates. And Zoucratic? Third place and a sweet $3 back for the loyal place punters — lazy ten bucks turns into a lunch shout.

Up north at Eagle Farm, we had Cutepi — who saw more backsides than a single bloke at Mardi Gras — horror show of a watch, should’ve bolted in. But redemption came quick thanks to Lonhro’s Queen, who stormed out of the pack like she had a personal grudge with gravity. Bank → skyward 🚀.

Then over in Flemington, Pallaton made sure the southern account stayed healthy — a tidy win before we toasted Jamie Melham, who’s now made history as the first female jockey to pull off the Caulfield Cup–Melbourne Cup double! Massive round of applause 👏 and a cheeky reminder to the blokes — lift your game lads!

And just when we thought the day was done — Dance To The Boom exploded home at $21 the win and $4 the place. The best part? Watching the account balance swell like a Friday night ego.

So if your pockets are overflowing and your stomach’s full — text the boss right now and say:
“Not in tomorrow, mate — I’m still counting my winnings and partying like it’s 1999!” 🎉💃🕺